Confessions of a Worship Leader: On the Curse/Blessing of Creativity

I was in the middle of writing my second exegetical paper for my Principles of Biblical Interpretation class at Kuyper College, when I realized something drastic: there was absolutely no way that this paper working through 1 Corinthians 11:27-32 (which I now realize as a mistake to start with a sentence that begins with the word, "So...") would be 5-7 pages long. We were told to pick a passage that was 5-7 verses in length and exegete - define words, define them in context, in their own language, etc - and write a paper explaining it. I had finished exegeting my second verse when I saw the page number at the bottom of my paper hit "7." We were strictly told not to go over seven pages. The way I was working, I would have easily hit 20.

So I walked into my professor's office, trying not to cry, explaining that I really wanted to understand the passage but there was no way that I could do it in 7 pages with all my resources. He took a look at my passage that I had chosen, laughed a little and said, "Well no wonder. People have written whole books on that passage. It's too long. Shorten it. Do 3-4 verses. I won't dock you down that much as long as you can exegete it properly and well. And in only 7 pages." 

I brought my unfinished paper to the writing center and looked at the student staff person, one word on the tip of my tongue that I had always had a hard time saying, especially when it came to written things - "Help." 

Thankfully it was on one of the nights that a senior pre-sem student was staffing the writing center. He was able to help me see where I had expanded too much, where to cut back, and how to shorten things. But throughout my years at Kuyper, I found myself in the writing center more often than not just to have someone help me edit down. To simplify. 

If there is one thing I consistently need help with, it is simplicity. They say brevity is the soul of wit, and boy, can I be witty. But brevity doesn't come naturally to me, especially in written format. I look at friends who can write points in simple and understandable ways and it takes them two paragraphs when it takes me four pages. And I long for the ability to say what I want to say, how I want to say it, AND have it be short. And I can't seem to do that. 

But one of the other things that I'm noticing throughout this Advent season that I've never noticed before is the beauty in the simplicity. People get really really sick of Christmas songs - but I have a feeling it's because we've all heard Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson and fifty different artists put super long runs in the middle of "Oh Holy Night" when the beauty of that song is in its simplicity. When we take a step back and remember that Christmas is a time of simplicity, things become beautiful again. Oh sure, we can stare at the amazing light shows that our neighbors put up, but then how quickly do we get sick of them? And yet I have  tiny tinsel tree in my office, covered in small blue ornaments, and I'm pretty sure I'm never takng it down.

Don't get me wrong - the Gospel is complex and confusing at times. But it was given to a simple people. Look at how many simple people are in the story? Moses with his unwilling spirit, shy nature, and speech impediment? Noah - just a guy who followed God. David, a simple shepherd boy, the youngest in the family, destined to always be a shepherd until called a king. Mary - a teenaged, unwed girl, who had found favor with God. The shepherds, living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks by night when an Angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were told that unto THEM was born this day in the city of David a Savior, dressed in cloths and lying in a manger. 

Christ, who laid aside his crown, his glory, to become a babe, born in a cattle stall in an unassuming town.

The Gospel is for a simple people.

And as I sit here and realize that I have a to-do list that's a mile long, I wonder if there is anything that I can cut. All of the parties, all of the practices, all of the dramas, all of the music - do any of those things detract from the story of Christ or do they enhance it? Because while people may enjoy all of the creativity and time and effort I've put into something, would I rather do a few things exceptionally well or ALL OF THE THINGS and do them all at a mediocre level? 

And my overly-creative and idealistic mind wants to do ALL OF THE THINGS. 

But if I do all of the things, I'll spend January holed up in my home, too exhausted. And isn't the Gospel about Life? 

So instead of saying, "No" to all of my ideas, I'll say, "Not yet." And I'll start looking now for solutions to the problems that have been plaguing me, stressing me out, and making me forget what Christmas is really about. Because if anything, I want the true meaning of Christmas to be highlighted - not my gifts or abilities or ideas or crazy shenanigans. Christmas is not about me. It's about Christ - coming as a child, come from heaven, to seek and save the lost. And that should be the focus of the Church during this season too - to humble ourselves and seek those who are wandering and love them - even (especially) if they hate us.